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dark lullaby, you sing to the nation

It started in the control room. I was sitting on the 2nd floor trying to update a document on my computer when I sense a stare from my project manager. I looked at him and he continued to give an intense stare, not saying a word. What it was discovered two seconds later was a tremor. It's a very weird sensation. The building started to sway, not vigorously, but slowly, almost like a ship rocking in a calm sea. It gave a slight motion sickness, and then we realize it was an earthquake. Earthquakes in Japan are common, who's to think that 15 minutes later the news came on cnn.com and it was reported that there has been a massive earthquake on the north east of Japan. The quake was felt yet again 5 minutes later. We knew it was not just a minor tremor.

From twenty, to two hundred and three days later one thousand two hundred people were pronounced to be dead. Japan has suffered a tremendous amount of loss and it brings to tears to watch the bitter damage mother nature has done to this country. The weight and force of the tsunami was unbelievingly powerful when you realize the scale of destruct and mangled mess of the towns. The first disaster led to a more alarming disaster; an incident almost comparable to the Chenobyl  and Three Mile Island disasters. I was glued to CNN for hours each day trying to keep up with the rescue progress and hoping that the current recovery process on the nukes will not manifest to become a larger issue. 

I have a conundrum; being in this position, is it selfish for one to say that fleeing the place to save one's life is wise, or staying in the country to stand and witness more death will be the solution? I was slightly ashamed to think that I was selfish to have the thought of flying back to the US, but it struck me when a colleague reminded us all that it is our own responsibility to save our own lives. Every  man for his own is indeed a selfish phrase, and will be against taught values, but will it be a selfish move to leave? The more I think about this, I realize that one person does not have the ability to help all the victims, one is not backed up by any organization, not a representative of a country sent to help these people, hence if you lose yourself in this little noble adventure, who's there to help you? 

Either ways, I'm still stuck in the country, just praying and hoping that the situation will be under control. Mother nature continues to sweep more lives, and I pray for all to soon stop. There is no doubt that the grief from this disaster will not die anytime soon. My heavy heart goes out to everyone who've suffered the loss of their loved ones, their homes and their jobs. This is one of the saddest moments in Japan and being here it makes it even harder to realize the truth, but also a humbling experience that makes one appreciate life more. 

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May 2014
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